By Debbie Feit
in The Martian cleared out the extraneous from the lightweight rocket, tossing all non-essential parts and replacing the airlock with a tarp, my father-in-law is also preparing for a journey. He is jettisoning most of his memories, replacing his cognitive function, once airtight, with a looser, flimsier, far more fragile version, and disposing of all non-essential parts: His grandchildren’s names. How to use a microwave. When to wipe his nose. That his daughter is fighting cancer. That his daughter-in-law has lost both of her parents. That she and her husband come by to see him weekly and on their most recent visit they sat in the living room nibbling from a fruit tray his wife of over fifty years set out. And while his son fixed their printer, his daughter-in-law answered, again, that they live nearby—and no, they don’t visit her parents as often because her parents are no longer here. It wasn’t the first time he had asked about her parents. It was the first time he responded: Well, we’re available. It was the first time she could see that he was, like Jessica Chastain—floating in the ether of space, fighting the unfriendliest of environments, trying to catch Matt Damon in the most tenuous and tarp-covered rocket of ways—
still tethered.
Debbie Feit is the author of the poetry chapbook, The Power of the Plastic Fork: A Daughter’s Highly Unorthodox Kaddish, forthcoming from Porkbelly Press. Her work has appeared in Abandon Journal, HAD, Harbor Review, The New York Times, Unbroken and on her mother’s bulletin board. Visit her at debbiefeit.com or on Instagram @debbiefeit.
Image by Ale Conchillos courtesy of Pexels

































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































Beautiful. Poignant. Thank you.
Thank you Janie for reading my work!
Lovely reflection on a painful season
Thank you Eric for taking the time to share your thoughts!
This is spot on. Sad but what we see. Thank you for sharing
Pure poetry walking a fine line and telling a tight, composed story. Gorgeously rendered and heartbreaking.
Sarah, your feedback is gorgeously rendered! Thank you so much!
Thank you Morgan for reading!
Debbie, in the phrase “the first time he responded,” you capture what I once called “a precious clearing,” the rare seconds when my father’s brain space would clear for a brief lucid moment and he’d be back. Thanks for sharing this beautiful thing.
Thank you Jean for sharing your own experience. “A precious clearing” is so poetic!
Your words will touch daughters, sons, partners and in-laws the world over. And we are so many.
I don’t know whether my heart stopped or beat faster as I inhaled the familiar feeling of the rhythmic arrangement of each heartbreaking sentence. You captured the impact of one person on every family member through your unique perspective. Your story doesn’t feel compressed at all. It feels larger than life, all consuming, reaching up to space and the unknown in the most powerful metaphor of loss I could ever imagine.
Wow, Jillian, that’s such beautiful feedback–in sentiment and in your own writing! Thank you for taking the time and thought to share that with me.
Wonderful piece! I am experiencing vicariously the slip into dementia of three longtime women friends. Despite having watched my mother undergo the same slide, I was not prepared to see friends do the same. This piece beautifully shows the stunning sense of grief and helplessness of this experience. Thank you for it.
I’m glad, and also sorry, that this resonated with you.
Powerful portrait of what so many of us have witnessed and may be facing. Thank you.
Thank you so much for reading.
Thank you. “Still tethered.” Just heart-breakingly beautiful, Debbie.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!
Untethering is a wonderful prospect!!
Thank you so much for reading!
Oh! His whole personality, forgotten or not, shines through with those words, “Well, we’re available.” Still tethered, indeed.
Thank you for your kind words!
Wow. This landed perfectly. Beautiful Thing, indeed!
{blushes} Thank you so much!
I’m so glad you mentioned this piece in our discussion, Debbie. It’s a beautiful read. It’s amazing how much can be packed into so few words.
Thanks so much Polly for taking the time to read my work and respond!
You chose the perfect metaphor for what’s happening to your father-in-law. Blessedly, this didn’t happen to either my parents or my in-laws, but I have several friends, women and men, who are experiencing this in their spouses. Heartbreaking!
Thank you so much. Sorry to hear the experience is close to home.
Beautiful and heartbreaking. Thank you.
Thank you for reading!
Debbie, so lovely to unearth this in my inbox after hearing you talk about it yesterday. Beautifully done.
Jen, thank you so so much!
You have a poet’s sensitive soul and a writing gift. We are all the better for it.
What a beautiful thing to say! Thank you so much.
Stunning piece of writing. Tragic, but all too common these days. My vibrant, loving best friend of 16 years tumbled into outer space shortly after the sudden death of her adored husband. She now resides in the Skilled Nursing section of a fine continuing care community. My husband and I visit often and she recognizes me when we arrive, but has forgotten who I am ten minutes later.
Thank you Leslie. I’m so sorry to hear about your friend.