By Robin Koczerginski
My daughter’s body tenses in the bath chair. Fists tight, knees drawn, chin tucked, the full clench she gives anything she hasn’t decided about yet. The water is warm. Her fingers open first, then her legs, then something in her shoulders lets go, and she unfurls into a stillness she rarely finds on land. Maybe it’s the white noise of the faucet. Or the feeling of no tape holding tubes on her body, untethered from the cords, of being somewhere that asks nothing of her eyes.
The oxygen tank lies flat beside the suction machine. A tube runs from the top into two small cannulas under her nose. She is free from most of the machinery, but it’s never too far away.
She finds a bath toy, brings it to her mouth, and works the silicone slowly across her teeth while I pour water over her legs with a cup. Her eyebrows lift a quarter of an inch. She tracks the sensation with her whole face. Outside the bath she is in constant motion, but through her stillness in the water, I can read her. A language so specific and quiet that you could spend a life in this room and never fully learn it. I’ll never know what she experiences here. I only know what her body does when it arrives.
I notice her fingers prune, and the ten minutes pass the way ten minutes pass when nothing is wrong, which is to say, they pass without us counting.
Robin Koczerginski is a Toronto-based writer. His work has appeared or is forthcoming in The Globe and Mail and Hippocampus Magazine. He is completing a memoir about parenting his daughter, who was born with a life-limiting genetic condition.
Image by Ivan Dražić courtesy of Pexels

































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































Magnificent and wise: “I only know what her body does when it arrives.”
Thank you so much for the heart-warming comment.
Breathtaking, stunning writing! Looking forward to reading your memoir.
Amazing writing about a remarkable father and daughter. I’m looking forward to reading your memoir.
Thank you – I really appreciate your comment!
Beautiful piece. You invite the reader into this intimate experience. We understand the immense challenges of your daughter’s life and yours, but you are never maudlin. Your memoir should be an amazing read.
Thank you Mary for this thoughtful comment! I appreciate it a lot.
Looking forward to reading your memoir!
Your writing is so powerful–fully stated, yet understated–my eyes burned and I had to take a moment. Your words are gentle, caring, “she unfurls into a stillness she rarely finds on land.”
You write with a quiet beauty that invites our attention and with every rereading I feel it even more. I too, look forward to reading your memoir. Your writing is a gift.
I read the Globe and Mail every morning. 🙂
Jillian – your words mean the world to me. Thank you so much for reading this and taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment.
Powerful prose. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes.
Thank you Vana!
Powerful piece…you capture those 10 minutes so beautifully.
Thank you Becky!
A gorgeously drawn moment that balances on the back of a tiger, gently. Thank you for letting us see this.
“that balances on the back of a tiger, gently.”
What a beautiful piece of feedback. Thank you Rebecca!
The last line kicked me in the gut…in a good way.
Thank you Elizabeth!
“…which is to they pass without us counting.”
So beautiful, bless you both! Thank you!
Thank you Nancy!
This is beautifully written. The last line really tugged on my heart-strings. Sending you hopes of ease and joy.
Thank you Maryam!
I love how at the end, you widen the lens by bringing in the passage of time.
Thank you Amy!
Serene and powerful. Spectacular.
Thank you Joan!
Thank you for sharing this tiny but so big sliver of time in your lives with us.
Thank you Alexandra!
I noticed how my body unclenched as I read your beautiful piece.
Robin, your words also unfurl with the openness and innocence of childhood. Absolutely smitten by your writing!
Warm regards,
Andrea L. Fisher, New Jersey USA
“. . . the ten minutes pass the way ten minutes pass when nothing is wrong, which is to say, they pass without us counting.” I will carry this sentence with me, the way I carry sentences, which is to say, I carry them when I know I will need them again.
Robin, this piece is stunning – the full presence of your details, the way time shifts with your words. I am a pediatrician (and a parent) and I plan to share this widely. Thank you for writing this!
I’m so happy this resonated with you Hanna. I do a lot of writing for pediatric audiences to help shift the narrative around medically complex kids. I appreciate you sharing this!