By Sari Fordham
“Why can’t you be more careful?” I ask my daughter, Kai. She is nine. Wild in her beauty. Her face reflects an ocean of moods–exhilaration, wonder, fury. Now it’s awash in regret.
“Sorry,” she says. “It was an accident.”
Between us: my Richard Bresnahan bowl, created from Minnesota clay and fired in the Johanna Kiln. I know more about this bowl than about my wedding dress or about the apple I’m still holding or about my daughter’s day at school.
“I know it was an accident,” I say, “but you must learn to be more careful.” I gather the shards, placing them into the remains of the bowl. They wait for weeks as I trudge through adult responsibilities. Meanwhile, my daughter dances in the living room, throws a ball for the dogs, climbs trees, decides to write a book.
On the day of the repair, I gather epoxy glue, gold powder, red modeling clay, and the bowl. The process is sticky and exasperating. I cannot be careful as I force pieces into place, tapping, even, with a hammer. When baked, the bowl turns into its truest self: gold seams through terracotta, a child’s clay holding the smaller fragments together.
“Pretty,” my daughter says, and then turns back toward the day. She must learn everything–how to roller skate, how to navigate friendships, how to peel a carrot. The world, in all its vexing beauty, demands her boldness.
Sari Fordham’s memoir, WAIT FOR GOD TO NOTICE, narrates her childhood in Uganda during and after Idi Amin’s dictatorship. She teaches creative writing at SUNY Oswego and can be found at www.sarifordham.com.
Image courtesy of the author
At every turn — every next sentence, really — I am surprised by this writer pointing to both the wide and the specific, her unexpected and generous response to her daughter’s “mistake” leaving me with a new way of looking at all mistakes and errors, mis-steps and seemingly wrong choices. A Monday morning re-set, a gift. Thank you.
An insightful essay with a gorgeous juxtaposition between responsibility and discovery, between trudge and dance.
My daughter, an art student, once told me there are no mistakes in art. You never erase, but incorporate a perceived misstep. I thought of this while reading, “its truest self,” and “the world demands her boldness.”
Love the precision of “how to peel a carrot,” the force of the beauty in the newly created bowl, and the author growing along with her daughter,
No one learns without accidents and failures. And many accidents turn out to be improvements. As I read, I remembered being hard on my son for accidents and I felt a surge of regret. Beautifully written essay.
Just beautiful! Attachment and letting go sums up so much of parenting. And all in so few words!
So beautiful! And so so true.
“The world, in all its vexing beauty, demands her boldness. The most perfect ending to this tiny gem.
I like the insight into the daughter’s perspective in this essay. Too many parents have trouble imagining their children’s point of view.
Best wishes for 2024!
Sincerely,
Janet Ruth Heller
A true gift – to acknowledge & create out of a mistake!!!! Great learnings
Absolutely beautiful. Lovely way to start the day.
The world needs all of our boldness… although I don’t have children, this reminds me to be more gentle with my own mistakes, and to appreciate my boldness. What a wonderful piece.
Beautiful and thought-provoking–as always.
Wow, the way you turn my gaze back and forth. Thankyou.
What a beautiful story! I’m going to share your work with one of my creative writing classes. Thank you.
I keep coming back to this. It’s so beautiful – in it’s brokenness, in it’s hope and it’s acceptance 🙂