By Ainsley McWha
Pulling out of the trailer park, where my passenger—a fourteen-year-old counseling client—lives, I pause by the mailboxes. “Don’t the Grand Tetons look great today?” Their snowcapped silhouette slices the eastern horizon, aglow against the azure sky. “Oh, I’ve never seen those before,” she replies. This is where she waits for the school bus every morning.
Down the road, I point out a mass of branches in the bare limbs of a cottonwood tree, the bald eagle’s nest. “How did you know that was there?” she asks. I almost say, “Because I have eyes,” but stay silent. Still, how could anyone miss something so obvious, so out of place?
One year post escape from the city—with its sharp, steely edges and shadowy tunnels; the collective vibrations, unwelcome grazes, and peering eyes of eight million urgent, shouting strangers—all I do these days is notice: clouds; birdsong; three droplets of morning dew along a blade of grass; the sweet, smoky scent of sagebrush rising from the rain-soaked field; an entire inverted world trapped within a melting icicle’s single drip.
Later, I’ll see: My client understandably thinks only of herself, worries about her siblings, their mother with her inability to provide and her propensity to extend invitations to exactly the wrong kind of men, survival.
Suddenly, I forgive my younger eyes for being blind and hope someday this girl, too, might have the luxury of feeling safe enough to spot the first buttercup of spring, that golden fleck of hope sprouting from the muddied earth.
Originally from Nepean, Ontario, Canada, Ainsley McWha now lives outside of Denver, Colorado. Nominated for a Pushcart Prize, McWha’s essays have been published in december, Grist, Barrelhouse, Tahoma Literary Review, and elsewhere. McWha holds an MFA in Creative Nonfiction from The New School in New York City.
Image by Ainsley McWha
This is gorgeous. And understanding that the ability to see depends on having safety. Lovely work.
This!
Beautiful.
Beautifully expressed insights–your own appreciation of the beauty of nature, and understanding for the teenager who isn’t able to see it.
Very beautifully presented. Thank you for this.
So simply put, but bursting with truth.
The balance you’ve hit is like that of a gymnast performing a backflip on the balance beam–and not wobbling a bit! Thank you!