By Kat Moore
Cats left gifts for us: dead birds, one time a dead possum, dragged to the middle of the driveway, resting on the dried oil slick. Cats lived on our carport, in our side yard, and backyard. Most were feral. My mom gave them names like Pretty Thing and Cry Baby. She spoke sweetly to them and only she, her sweet heart purring inside her sing-song voice, could pick them up without being scratched. She poured dry food into saucers and used the outside spigot to refill the water bowls. Pretty Thing had kittens in the doghouse our dog never used. The boy cats returned mangled, parts of ears missing, limping. One boy, an orange tabby, named Thumper because when he scratched his ear his back leg would slip and thump on the ground, was my mom’s favorite. She put Neosporin on his wounds, let him inside to heal.
Decades later, after my mother dies suddenly, unexpectedly, I set out bowls of food for the feral cats who roam my neighborhood. The blue-eyed Himalayan, the white, black, and gray tabby, and their white and gray kittens crowd my porch, and gobble up food. I sit with them, give them names—Pickles, Lula, Lily, Pepper—as they mew a song back at me. I pick up Pickles, imagine my hands are my mother’s hands, and run my fingers through the softest fur. His purr vibrates like a heartbeat inside my palm.
Kat Moore has essays in Brevity, Creative Nonfiction, Image, Hotel America, Passages North, Diagram, The Rumpus, Entropy, Hippocampus, Whiskey Island, Salt Hill, and others. An essay of hers appears in the anthology Bodies of Truth: Personal Narratives on Illness, Disability, and Medicine. She was a 2021 Bread Loaf Writers Conference Scholar in Nonfiction and her work has also been supported by the 2022 Tin House Winter Workshop and a 2017 SAFTA Residency.
Image by Fidan Nazim qizi courtesy of Pexels
So vivid and descriptive. A wonderful tribute to your mother’s great heart.
Beautifully contained. I love the simplicity of a past and present. Your mom and you, anchored by cats. It feels both small and large.
Elegant, spare and vivid. I remembered moments when my mother’s influence came through as a gift. Thank you!
I’ve been thinking about how to create connections with my deceased loved ones. I love how you’ve formed a bond with your mother across time. Plus, the writing is beautiful. 🙂
I love this essay. My dad was the cat person in our family. One of the last pictures I took of Dad while he was lucid was with his red tabby cat Bo. Thank you for your beautiful writing and lovely story.
Your writing is delicate and your sentences soft and slow. And in this quiet place and gentle pace I linger on every word. When I finish, I begin again, so that I may spend more time with the mother whose heart purrs inside a sing song voice and delight in the daughter’s inheritance.