By Eve Maisey
“We need to save the bees,” is what my mother tells me. I’m a little girl running my hands over petals of daffodils yellow as an Easter dress. The garden lines the outside of our home. Blue and purple irises sprout from the side yard. Orange tiger lilies try to brighten the cellar windows that sit above the dirt. I hate those windows, dark like eye sockets watching. Dark like the wood of the house, filled with heavy doors on antique hinges and skeleton keyholes.
Inside, my mother lives in a tornado of moods. She is the garden, shining like a rainbow of colors that dance beneath the sun. And then she is the mud, sulking into the shadow crevices of her blackened bedroom. How can a family survive here in the depths of depression? My sisters and I huddle together like a hive buzzing with questions: who will wake her up, how long should she sleep, can we make pancakes for dinner?
In my own home, a mother myself now, my hand grasps my favorite ceramic mug. I put honey in my tea when I need soothing. I make pancakes on Sunday mornings with oldies on the speaker and my infant son on my hip. His cheek is soft like a petal against my fingertips. Outside our kitchen window wildflowers grow for the bees. They are perennials, always returning.
Eve Maisey has a Graduate Certificate in Creative Writing and MA in Communication from Fairfield University, as well as a BA in Liberal Arts, Concentration in Media Studies from SUNY Purchase. She is an active member of a SUNY Purchase alumni memoir writing workshop and completed an Intermediate Fiction course with the Westport Writers’ Workshop, CT. Eve lives in Connecticut with her family and energetic Jack Russell Terrier “Indiana.”
Image by Harry Dona courtesy of Unsplash
I love the floral and natural themes that weave through these three paragraphs. They rise above Mom’s bi-polar issue and the heaviness of the house. The invincible joy the young girls manage, despite Mom’s moods, maintains joy as they take charge. Lovely conclusion as writer becomes mom, continuing to take joy in pancakes, music and the softness of her baby’s cheek as she prepares breakfast. I feel she has survived through nature, its beauty and delight. So positive!
Beautiful imagery. It creates a world of light and dark, asks foreboding questions, in a few, concise paragraphs.
I agree with the comments above, a resilience shines in all these observations. Witnessing and growing, this is childhood for many of us. And from this, knowing that the fresh child is witnessing, and precious.
Such a beautiful metaphor for this devastating disease and the people who have to live through it. Thank you for writing it.
You show us depression so clearly–experiencing it inside and outside, both. And strength and determination, with nature and your beautiful words to help us through. I loved this piece. Thank you!
The imagery is so bright while also being able to put a ping of pain in my heart: The feelings of being a child and having questions far beyond their years that can’t be answered. Then transitioning into a mother and raising her child the way she would have wanted brought tears to my eyes. It’s absolutely beautiful.