By Bhushita Vasistha
“No woman should laugh hard, for only whores laugh hard.”
~ Bhanubhakta Acharya, Nepali poet laureate
Chipped tiles. Sulphur fumes. Rust-freckled mirrors. Queues. A large vault of cement walls hived with twelve conjoined toilet booths on each side. Girls’ bathroom.
We are here on an odd mission, armed with a metal compass each. My classmate and I wait for the crowd to dilute. It is our third time this week. When everybody leaves, we inspect the regular hieroglyphs of obscenities on the walls. Most scribblings are done with pencils or Sharpies. But a few days ago, we found a carving: [ ] is a whore.
[ ] is my best friend. When she first confides the anonymous assault to me, I feel terrorized. I try to think of ways a girl, an eleven-year-old girl, could be a whore. I do not know what whores do. But I know it involves men. And shame. We take our compasses and erase the carving with an illegible crisscrossing like a patch of gauze pad. A cement wound. A disembodied stigma. No blood. No pus. Words cut so deep. Words rearranged is an anagram for sword.
After two days, however, the same message pops up on another wall. A rabid infection. We carve another patch of gauze. Every day we scour the walls for stigmata. The third time, my friend breaks down.
“Did you do anything?” I ask.
“Like what?”
“Laugh?”
She frowns. She cannot be too sure.
Bhushita Vasistha is a Fulbright scholar from Nepal. She is presently enrolled as a dual-genre MFA candidate at San Jose State University. Her works have appeared in Mithila Review, The Read Magazine, Clay, and elsewhere.
Image by Buchen WANG courtesy of Unsplash
A powerful gem. I was immediately back in the girls’ bathroom at my school, the scrawls on the wall. Vasistha encapsulates her loyalty and love for her friend, as well as how the anonymous insults by girls toward other girls reflects some women’s internalization of sexism and shaming by men— co-opting these attitudes as a way of fitting in or simply surviving. (Not to mention the absurdity of “laughing hard” as a sign of female promiscuity at any age, let alone an 11-year-old child.)
Beautifully told, haunting, so well captures the young girls’ world.
Oh, how beautifully done! So seductive in drawing the reader toward the ending which immediately takes one back to the beginning. So satisfying, thank you!
Stunning.. Thank you.
Bhushita, I can see and feel the textures you create in this essay, can hear the compass point scraping the tile in the line “erase the carving with an illegible crisscrossing like a patch of gauze pad.” Lovely.
inspired and inspiring
much bravery
tough activists
funny
This lyrical, powerful piece rebukes and exposes the shamefulness of the so-called “wise” poet’s stricture. May our girls tear down every wall they encounter. Thank you for this.
Beautifully and artfully done. Thank you for sharing.
I wonder about the statement made by the poet Bhanubhakta Acharya. I also wonder whether his feelings reflect the reality of society then or are a simple sarcastic reflection of his understanding. In any case, your presentation of this reality explains the harsh undesirable cultural traits of all societies, one only needs to go to any toilet in high school or college even in the United States.