Child's drawing of a three-story house

Essay for My Five-Year-Old Daughter

September 4, 2017

By Michael Torres

You wanted me to find you. So I interrogated the avocado tree, searched behind the broken Virgin Mary statue. Finally, I asked the sky for help. Your giggling betrayed you. The tiny house you hid inside of: its roof, the door, even the window and the crater under its shutters, where we decided would be a good place to hold plants that day, was plastic. How strong something brief could be. That day I thought I could be a good father: I gathered the dirt; joined you in pulling weeds from the edge of the lawn; we popped daisy heads off and left their stems hunched and haunting. Then we pressed everything into the earth we made up. I watched you pour the water; how it leapt from the spout. Both of us waited for the soil to soak it up. Our faces close. Next time I visit, I’ll look for our plants—wondering if anything between us could grow.

When I don’t see them, I won’t ask. Instead we’ll draw on scratch paper on the floor of your bedroom. Tens of lilies to be colored. You’ll ask if I’m having fun and offer me mixed nuts from a can. I’ll spend the day drawing your name on pieces of paper. One of them, you’ll take from me and tape crooked to the wall.

Michael Torres’ work has appeared or is forthcoming in Green Mountains Review, Forklift, Ohio and Tinderbox Poetry Journal among others. He has received grants from the Minnesota State Arts Board and the Jerome Foundation. Currently, he resides in Mankato, Minnesota where he teaches creative writing and co-hosts “Notepad Poets,” an art workshop for at-risk and homeless youth at the Reach drop-in center through Good Thunder Reading Series Community Outreach.

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