By Rebecca Dimyan
She sits on the toilet, her adult diaper soiled. Her skin is paper and covered in bruises like ink stains. My mother-in-law looks at me with a smile that knows nothing of shame. She mumbles something about being late to the dance, and I tell her not to worry, she’ll be right on time. She flushes, and I help her into a new pair of Depends.
Mom stands. My hand on her arm is the cane she can’t drop or refuse. She is lucid for a moment when she asks for her purse overflowing with a skein of yarn and used napkins and pens without caps. I grab it from the edge of the sink, and a mess of bright pink wool falls out. It lands on the bathroom tile followed by several crumpled yellow sticky notes and a half-eaten chocolate chip cookie.
Her eyes light up as she says, “It’s always good to be prepared.”
We laugh together, and I savor that first thing I loved about her. It will be the last part of her that dies, I think.
Rebecca Dimyan is an award-winning author, editor, and professor living in Connecticut. Her memoir Chronic was published in 2023 and delves into her experience with endometriosis and alternative medicine. Her debut novel Waiting for Beirut explores love and identity against the backdrop of 1950’s Lebanon and Connecticut. When not grading papers, she can be found working on her next novel.
Image by Kaboompics.com courtesy of Pexels
This is an absolutely lovely piece.
Thank you for this beautiful piece. My mother had Alzheimer’s, and I always appreciated those unexpected lucid moments when the sparkle in her eyes, the smile, and the laughter all returned but just as quickly disappeared along with the mother that I loved in my younger years.
Thank you so much. I so relate. I’m taking care of my 90yo mother with dementia, and there are so many of us doing this. Again, thanks.