By Eryn Sunnolia
The digital RSVPS rolled in, automatically collected into a tidy spreadsheet. Yes from my sister, yes from Quinn’s dad, no from a childhood friend living in Alaska. And there it was: my father had typed in his name and then—nothing.
No joyfully accept, no dietary restrictions, no words of love for the couple. No regretfully decline with an explanation of a trip to Hawaii, or not enough days off work, or even something hurtful: a Bible verse, a gesture toward the ice between us. I stared at his name without blinking, my ribs tightening around my chest. Maybe he entered his name and, confronted with the ensuing screen, couldn’t honestly choose—no joy in his acceptance, no regret in his decline.
A week later, we received a nut milk maker on our porch from Quinn’s mom’s friend, a beach umbrella from my childhood friend, more responses. Nothing new from my father, or any of the other question mark guests. Mentally, I RSVPed no for my grandparents, who at least told me over the phone that they weren’t coming. Nobody said the word gay, of course. It was the distance, they’re just not travelers, they couldn’t possibly sit in the car that long.
This morning: still blank. But another response, one from my aunt and uncle, who when I came out said they loved me but probably wouldn’t come to my wedding. Their responses: joyfully accept. Gluten free. Wishing you much flourishing and peace.
Eryn Sunnolia (she/they) is a queer writer living in Philadelphia, PA. Their writing has appeared in Electric Literature, HuffPost, Vast Chasm, Well+Good, TINGE, and others. She is in her first year of the Rutgers Camden MFA program in creative nonfiction. She also likes making quilts. You can find them at erynsunnolia.com or on Substack.
Image by Elizabeth Russell: @erussell_photo
Thank you for this Beautiful piece of writing. Spoke volumes in few words. How sad for all those who do not see that love is love.
Joy always to you and your partner.
This piece made my heart pound. Thank you for sharing this with us. Your words spread love.
So much said in the spaces. Poignant and lovely. And Yay to your aunt and uncle! Thank you for leaving us with their embrace of you and Quinn.
Beautiful!
Such a tender piece. My heart breaks at the declines and question marks. What a balm the hopeful ending note offers, about the aunt and uncle. Some loved ones are willing to brave the learning curve and it’s beautiful to see their journey of expanding love.
So much expressed in so few words. In the words of Marvin Gaye, love and happiness!
Hope you had a wonderful wedding!
This is gorgeously written. So subtle. You just took me with you on this journey. As a queer woman I can totally relate. Thank you!
This is gorgeously written. So subtle. You just took me with you on this journey. As a queer woman I can totally relate. Thank you!
So beautiful. Thanks for sharing.