By Lindsey Trout Hughes
We didn’t go to see the stars. The clouds had already draped themselves over the city, and I was grateful. Had I looked through the telescope beside my friend, I might have wept.
Inside, the Hugo Ballin murals arched above, a blueprint in gold and celestial blue: skull, microscope, embryo. I wanted to lie on the marble floor and let the ceiling name me. We skipped the planetarium show and leaned on the railing, looking through the dark toward what might have been the ocean. I asked the white-haired docent at the telescope what surprised him most. “Once, I saw the moon and Venus align.” No supernova, no comet’s long goodbye, just two familiar bodies suddenly in sync.
When I was a child, I used to pray—honest, actual prayers—that I would never fall in love with an astronaut. I couldn’t bear the thought of loving someone who might float away, who might become unreachable.
Later, in the Uber, our driver introduced himself as Doug Clarey, told us he played for the St. Louis Cardinals in 1976. One hit in the majors. A home run, top of the 16th against the Giants with two outs and a runner on first. For a moment, everything went right.
And I do think I’ll remember that, even years from now: Doug at Candlestick Park before I was born, my friend against the skyline, how the most surprising thing is sometimes the simplest, the moon and Venus aligned in a way that felt rare.
Lindsey Trout Hughes is a writer and editor of creative nonfiction. A former columnist at Catapult, her writing has appeared in Bright Wall/Dark Room, The Audacity, The Rumpus, and elsewhere. She serves as Head of Writer Experience at the London Writers’ Salon and is the founding co-editor of Writers’ Hour Magazine. Previously, she was Assistant Books Editor at Barrelhouse. Lindsey writes essays and craft letters on Substack at Fox in the Dark. She is at work on a memoir about motherhood, madness, art-making, and her time spent playing Hamlet’s Ophelia.
Image by Steve Chai courtesy of Pexels
Such a satisfying essay! Thank you.
So lovely! Thank you.
This is perfectly lovely. Thank you.
Every powerful paragraph moved me. I read your story three times just to feel the rush again. Breath taking and exquisite.
Maggie Morth. Exquisite
Wonderful surprises of meaning in this jewel. I especially loved the prayer contrasted with perfect miracles of momentary alignment.
This sings to me. Lovely.
Leaps in alignment — that’s what essays do best, and this one is brilliant.