By Jackie Domenus
“I have Jackie here,” the school nurse says to my mother over the black-corded phone. “She doesn’t have a fever, but she says she doesn’t feel well . . .”
So she’ll tell the nurse she’s on her way. I’ll wait in a grown-up chair in the main office with my bigger-than-me backpack, my legs swinging in anticipation of what the rest of the day could bring. Maybe I’ll sip a Hi-C juice box and watch contestants shout answers at each other on the Game Show Network. Or maybe I’ll play dollhouse as my mother sits at the dining room table with her coffee, some manilla folders, and a check book paying the bills. We might even slide into a booth at Friendly’s for lunch and ice cream. Because we both know I feel perfectly fine. We both know I am bored with the easy words on the chalkboard and when my mind wanders toward the classroom windows, I remember there is a world outside the concrete walls, one where she is doing something without me and I miss her. She’ll sign me out on the clipboard as the secretaries smile and say, “Feel better!”
“So what’s wrong?” she asks as I buckle my seatbelt. I fib about today’s ailment—a headache, a stomachache, a “just don’t feel good”—and she meets my eyes in the rearview with practiced skepticism and a hidden smile before we pull off into the vastness of an entire day, together.
Jackie Domenus (they/she) is a queer, gender nonconforming writer from South Jersey. Their first book, No Offense: A Memoir in Essays, was published with ELJ Editions in 2025. A former Sundress Academy for the Arts resident and Tin House Workshop graduate, Jackie’s work has appeared in HuffPost, The Normal School, Foglifter Journal, and elsewhere.
Image by Tara Winstead courtesy of Pexels
How well I remember staring out the windows, bored out of my mind! We all had to wait for every kid in the class to get the answer. It was a long time.
No one gave us anything else to do. I tried to entertain myself. When filling out the numbers from 1 to 100 on a grid-lined paper, I would calculate what number would be underneath each number, so I could write the numbers in concentric circles. This made it last a little longer. Just not long enough.
Twelve years of this left me with an intolerance for boredom, or boring people.
I love it!! My grand daughter gets the secretary to call me telling her “my parents are too busy at work and can’t answer their phone but my Grama will! “ ❤️
It feels real. Sick/swell. It’s younger than my generation and probably my children’s as well. But my granddaughters have called a few times. Sick or trouble/d. I admit, I wanted more and read it a couple more times and will probably return, this time trying to track the magic. But magicians know how to hide their shimmer.
Joyous writing and the surprise of a hidden smile.
Hiding in plain sight. I was gobbling and drinking the rhythm and digested the black corded phone and the bigger than me backpack, the gridded paper – it went down so smooth — thank you I was sitting write their with you Jackie.
lovely!
Lovely moment! Memories of getting away from school via the nurse’s office can be so fraught; I love that this one was a happy moment for the speaker (and the mom too!)