By Maryam Mohit
He was the child who drank tea with me each evening, sipping darjeeling while spilling stories of his latest crushes; he is the child who needs his trach suctioned so as not to choke on his own saliva—who can no longer communicate, not even by blinking his eyes. He was the child who backpacked through Colorado, pronouncing himself “a true mountain goat”; he is the child who cannot move, whose days are a series of being “turned” to avoid bed sores, having his briefs changed. (He’s sixteen years old, I refuse to call them diapers.)
A crash, his black bike and blond head, hit by a car going 35mph, police wrote.
A coma, unresponsive at the scene, EMTs said.
A minimally conscious state, formerly known as “vegetative,” ongoing.
I hold his hand, play Pink Floyd’s “Shine on You Crazy Diamond” from his Spotify, show video messages from friends while I strain to see if his eyes shift towards their faces at all.
Will he emerge to awareness or float forever in this liminal space? I don’t know. I can’t know.
I miss my son as I sit beside him.
Watching nurses turn him for the umpteenth time today, I think, “Maybe this is it. This is what it’s going to be. This will be our life.” Then I think, “I love him. I love this child whoever he is, whoever he is going to be.” There is a strange peace in that, in loving the child who is.
Maryam Mohit lives in Northern California with her youngest son. She is a writer, TBI advocate, and in a previous life, a tech executive. Her writing has appeared in The Sun.
Image by Sóc Năng Động courtesy of Pexels
































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































Maryam, what a beautiful piece! It moved me to tears!
truth-telling in every sentence.
thank you
The beauty of this writing and your bravery in writing it takes my breath away.
I love the structure of this piece–the was/is repetion in the beginning, the facts+who said in the middle, and the what’s happening now with thoughts at the end. Fabulous holder for this heartbreaking and beautiful story.
Yes, tears, and applicable to many states of being.
Maryam, this is the most beautiful poetry! Very moving, thanks for sharing.
The beginning of a fraught journey with a brilliant, relentless mother and her singularly determined son.
Every mother is with you, Maryam, knowing how close we come every day to standing in your shoes and sitting by the bedside. What choice do we have but to continue to love our children?
Heart wrenching, but beautiful. Oh, is there anything like the love for a child?
This mother is with you, Maryam. My son was older – 30 – when his brain injury occurred. I miss the man he was. I love the man he is.
A beautiful piece. Thanks for sharing.
I’m so sorry for this tragedy and so grateful for this lovely, relatable piece of writing.
Just amazing. I’m sorry and so glad you can express the pain this way.
Inspiring and exceptionally beautifully written. I know the peace that comes from accepting the is.
“This will be our life.” Yes—the peace that sentence brings. This is beautiful and as a mother, I’m so glad you shared it. It’s a good reminder for all of us to love the child who is. Just beautiful.
Beautifully written. Every mother is there with you
Thank you, Maryam. And, I’m so sorry.
Beautiful and heartbreaking. Thank you for this.
Thank you, Maryam. You’ve all taught us something so beautiful—the lesson of loving, no matter what. ❤️
You are such a gifted writer! I look forward to reading more of your essays, articles, and maybe a book?