By Jennifer Ayres
Impossibly fragile is this stunned bird, now motionless. She is velvet and the color of rosemary, and the weight of her hollow bones barely registers in the flesh of my palm. I fear she has not survived her plummet to the stone floor, exhausted by her panicked efforts to escape our porch. Despairing, I start pulling almost invisible cobwebs, one by one, from her beak.
I have done this before.
—
It was before Mom got sick. Twenty years ago. She loved hummingbirds with an obsessive devotion. Once, one entangled itself in cobwebs and dust in the garage. Her body tense, Mom held her hands to her face in silent pleading as I came down the ladder with the bird in my hand and tried to loosen the webs ensnaring the bird. With the tug of a single strand, the delicate bird was free, darting into the light of the setting sun.
—
My own wordless pleading now pounding in my ears, I guide this bird’s beak, like a needle, into the hole at the center of a ruby enameled flower.
She is completely, totally still.
A familiar grief echoes in my chest and grips my throat.
But then, the back of her neck shimmers in subtle undulation. She blinks at me sideways. My breath shallow and quick, I gently sweep my forefinger under her gray speckled breast, putting her feet, the size of baby spiders, back under her.
She quickens, weightlessly, and then she is aloft, pitching skyward.
Jennifer Ayres is a professor of theology and student of nature. She lives near Atlanta, Georgia with her family, two dogs, and many ambitious and tenuous gardening projects.
Image by Arian Fernandez courtesy of Pexels
Oh, I held my breath! A vibrantly detailed jewel portraying life and love.
Thank you, Jennifer
Feet like baby spiders. Lovely.
Exquisite.
Jennifer, yes yes yes. Oh, how much I love this. Thank you.
I agree, this was breathless.
Lovely, Jennifer! More, please…
I echo the life and love comment. Something so sweetly tugged at my heart for the love of my aging mom as well as the heartache over my aging mom.
Thank you!
I love this. Thank you for sharing, Jennifer.
Hummingbirds: how fragile, yet how magical. beautifully described!
I conflated your throat and the grief stuck there with the back of the birds undulating neck…wow.
You are a brilliant writer in whatever genre, Jen.
I felt this in my chest.
Thank you.
🙏🏻
Such a lovely look at a memory of your Mother as you thought about another bird that needed you to help. You are able to paint the picture so well.
From one bird lover to another, thank you!
Gorgeous! Agree with another commenter: I was holding my breath and with you in that tender, delicate moment.
I was, like other readers, breathless. Beautiful essay.